“… I realized that I have put myself in a box. Even worse is the reality that my deepest desires lie on the other side of the box.”

When one attempts to solidify their physical goals more and more they may realize the tendency to shy away from what they truly desire. They may find these limiting beliefs come up, limiting beliefs that they were unaware existed. Mabey this is because we often assume that it is not possible for us to get what we truly want, and in this case that we can get the body that we have always dreamt of. I found myself sitting across a college friend as we zip along on the LIRR in NYC and she tells me about her recent weight loss and her goals. She admits that she has spent two years working on it and that she still had a long way to go. None the less she seemed content with her progress. She was down 80 lb’s so far and still had 30 left to go. She tells me she wants to reach 110 lb’s. She is 5’ 3 inches tall, only an inch shorter then I was. I then think to myself “Wow i would love to weigh 115 lb’s” and shortly after that I think “then why isn’t my goal to weigh 115 lb’s, why is it 150 or 140 lb’s”. I thought about it and realized that quite a few thoughts were hanging out in the back of my mind pulling me down without me being fully aware of it.

When one has a limiting belief they should isolate them

“I can never go from 247 to 115 lb’s and maintain it thats impossible”

“I can never really look good outside of clothes if I lost that much weight anyway, whats the point?”

“I’ll have so many stretch marks and  sagging skin, why bother if I wont be perfect.”

“I will never be able to eat so little on a consistent basis to maintain such a low weight”

“I can never REALLY get over my bad eating habits.”

“Thats 135 lbs of weight loss, IT WILL TAKE FOREVER!”

“I wasent meant to be that hot girl.”

I think the last one is the most tragic of the seven. On the outside I am so quick to tell myself that I can do anything that I put my mind to, but deep down I realized that I have put myself in a box. Even worse is the reality that my deepest desires lie on the other side of the box.

The thing that I quickly realized after writing all of these beliefs down and reviewing them is the fact that most of the things that I believe deep down are contestable.

When one has a limiting belief they should challenge them

“Is it true that I can’t change my habits long term?”

“If my friend spent two years reaching her goals then why can’t I?”

“Do I really need to starve daily to weight 115lbs?”

And most importantly

“Why can’t I be the attractive woman that I have always dreamt of being?”

The thing is, there are plenty of women out there who have reached these goals. I don’t need to use my imagination too much to see how my goals are possible. I have people to look up to. I am no Roger Bannister. It is with this knowledge that I can go on confidently. Because nothing is more detrimental to reaching one’s goals then second guessing them.

Choosing Who You Are


“A man who procrastinated in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.”― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967

The Status Quo

As a  millennial being raised in a super progressive era, I am feeling more and more uncomfortable with the status quo. maybe it’s just me but I get this strange feeling that we as a society seem to just excuse anything away as a life choice and separate choice from result all together. Sometimes we don’t make our choice and then it seems that our life is all of a sudden a horror story of inevitable life circumstances. As a daughter to a poor New York immigrant family I have had this thought process, or lack thereof, pushed at me my entire life and I just don’t want to play along quite frankly.

The practice of best Practices

I believe life should be a game of best practice. I’m going to follow the examples of those who live life in the way that I would love to. The goal is the have the ideal family life because I followed the example of the 80-year-old couple down the street. If I think elegant and poised women are my ideal kind of lady, then that is who I will look into to model myself after.

Thinking small or Not thinking at all

This seems so obvious now but so does all of the other great pieces of wisdom in the world. I recall when i first heard Napoleon Hill’s Think and grow rich, and got to that great line where he asks a simple question on making life choices. He asks if you don’t decide you want to bake a pie that afternoon why would you ever look up the recipe? This seems easy enough but how often does one think “gee, I guess I’ll go look up how to be a millionaire now and start off on that little project there”? To the average joe seems ridiculous right? Yet interestingly enough when my boyfriend said he wanted to be financially independent by 40 this is exactly what I did, and boy was I not let down. Do it, you will be shocked at how this seemingly complex issue is broken down and accessible to anyone if they just “look up the recipe”.

This got me realizing how I was living in a bubble of denial. I wouldn’t allow myself to think outside of my life and the lives of those around me and dream of what could be. I had a movie theater image of why people’s lives were the way they were and a lot of it had to do with luck, but it turns out very little of it has to do with luck. Life is either intentional or not so great. And I plan for it to be intentional.